The Power of Listening

Active Listening prompts connectedness. Remember a time you had a truly meaningful conversation… Perhaps it was on the bus, the subway, with a friend having coffee, or over a zoom call. Now, do you also remember how that conversation left you feeling- perhaps certain, confident, assured, affirmed or even seen? This is a result of having a conversation with an active listener. 

When you listen, you tap into our ability to empathize, sympathize or react in the way that might be best suited for the person and conversation. One of the ways to establish how you actively listen to others is the awareness to understand their needs from your own. With others it is through a language expressed by love. You’ve heard of the 5 love languages which are: words of affirmation, acts of service, physical touch, gifts, and quality time, right? Each of these helps connect and activate how you hold space for your loved ones. With the help of active listening, you’re guiding yourself towards prioritizing the focus of each moment in a conversation.

An intentional change in improving your rapport with listening is through building impactful and long-standing relationships. Active listening informs our cognitive response such as listening for: (1) context, (2) structure, (3) criticism, (4) reactivity or (5) selective relatability. In this way you have the opportunity to choose your best response. Knowing about each of these gives you an opportunity to understand how you’re showing up in awareness during interactions.

The Harvard Business School Review suggests the following methods to enrich your relationships through the power of listening:

• Before reacting or responding, say the last few words back to your counterpart. This helps them know that you’re thoughtfully taking time to truly contemplate.
• Non-verbal cues such as eye contact for engagement, a relaxed and upright posture to show attentiveness, and being mindful of what you do with your hands presents an impression.
• Asking the question: How can I be here for you in the best way possible? This encourages self leadership in what it is that’s needed in your conversations.

Remember to ask the ‘Who,’ ‘What,’ and ‘why’ when holding space to listen and shape how you show up in your life’s most important relationships. When people remember the space you held for them in conversations, you become a memory that shapes their experience and empowers connection with you. So how will you use your power of awareness through listening?

Listen now to William Ury’s TEDx Talks on The Power of Listening to test and activate your power of listening.