Yes, we are friends now.
Not because I like it, and certainly not because I invited it. But because after years of trying to ignore it, fight it, silence it, and outrun it, I realised something:
It wasn't going anywhere.
Sometimes it sits quietly in the corner.
Sometimes it arrives unannounced, loud and demanding.
Often, it shows up right before something important, something new, and already uncomfortable.
I'm talking about Imposter Syndrome, or what clinical psychologists Dr. Pauline Rose Clance and Dr. Suzanne Imes originally termed the "Imposter Phenomenon" back in 1978. They described it as the persistent feeling that our achievements are undeserved and that, sooner or later, we'll be "found out."
For me, it sometimes feels like a knot in my stomach and often a constant chaSer in my head:
"Are you really ready?"
"Did you just get lucky passing that exam?"
"Are you doing it right?"
For a long time, I treated those thoughts as facts. I almost accepted them as evidence that I wasn't good enough, believing I simply needed to work harder to overcome them.
Then one day, tired of the constant battle and armed with a few powerful coaching questions, I decided to try something different.
I sat down and had a conversation with it with an open mind.
I asked:
What is your positive intention?
What evidence do you have?
The response surprised me. When I explored the first question, I realised that beneath all the noise and self-doubt, there was a protective instinct. It wasn't trying to sabotage me; it was trying to shield me from failure and embarrassment.
Its methods were questionable, but its intention wasn't.
That realisation changed everything.
What I had expected to be a confrontation became a conversation rooted in curiosity.
The fear lost some of its power, the chatter softened, and two important truths were revealed.
When I looked for objective evidence, I found it.
There was enough evidence that I had learned, grown, adapted, and shown up consistently—even when things felt uncertain.
It was surprisingly joyful to pause and acknowledge the many small steps that had brought me to where I was: the conversations I had courageously started, the challenges I had worked through, and the lessons learned along the way.
The problem wasn't a lack of evidence.
It was that I wasn't paying attention to it.
Buried beneath the noise were useful signals.
There were skills I wanted to strengthen, areas where I needed more preparation, and things I could do differently next time.
What I had labelled as self-doubt was sometimes simply feedback asking to be heard.
The conversation helped me separate fear from fact and criticism from genuine learning.
And that distinction made all the difference.
Today, when Imposter Syndrome visits, I don't immediately try to push it away.
Instead, I reach for my notebook and my colourful pens.
I acknowledge the feeling.
I get curious.
I ask questions.
I listen.
Some days the conversation is easy.
Some days it isn't.
And on those tougher days, I lean on trusted friends, peers, mentors, or coaches who can help me see what I cannot see for myself.
For me, the goal is no longer to "win" against Imposter Syndrome.
It is to acknowledge it, manage it, and occasionally even learn from it.
Perhaps that is why I can now call it a friend, not the kind who always tells me what I want to hear, but the kind who challenges me, keeps me honest, and reminds me that growth often lives just beyond the edge of comfort.
This feeling connects us in a deeply human way.
It reminds us that everyone carries doubts, fears, and internal stories they are learning to navigate.
It teaches us empathy.
It encourages us to be a little more understanding of ourselves and others.
And it reminds us that we are rarely as alone in our struggles as we imagine.
As a coach, I feel incredibly privileged to create the kind of confidential, judgement-free space where these conversations can happen.
Holding space for someone to untangle their thoughts and discover their own answers is both a responsibility and a joy.
It is one of the reasons I value my International Coaching Federation-aligned training so deeply. It equips us with the mindset, tools, and frameworks to help people explore their thinking, uncover possibilities, and move forward with greater clarity.
Perhaps that is my invitation to you.
The next time that familiar voice shows up, instead of preparing for baSle, what if you simply sat down, got curious, and started a conversation?
If you're navigating a career transition, stepping into leadership, or standing at the edge of something important, you may recognise that familiar voice too.
You don't have to silence it before taking your next step.
Sometimes clarity begins with a conversation. If you'd like a confidential space to think, reflect, and explore what's possible, I'd love to connect.
ABOUT KABERI
Kaberi brings over 20 years of global experience across Asia, Europe, and Australia, having held senior leadership roles within the technology sectors of finance, retail, and healthcare, including one of Australia’s Big Four banks.
Her career spans technical delivery, project management, and people leadership, always with a core focus on enabling others to grow and succeed.
Currently working toward her coaching accreditation, Kaberi operates at the intersection of corporate strategy and human-centred development. She leverages her deep industry breadth to help individuals and teams navigate complexity, find clarity, and lead with confidence.
To follow and connect with Kaberi on LinkedIn, visit her profile.